I have made contact with someone through the internet. I was on a not so well known social network when she left a message. She was one of several who made contact. What caught my attention about her was she was unassuming in her message, that if I wanted to chat to contact her. It was some weeks before I contacted her. Turns out she’s Russian. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve never known any Russians before. I’m not really sure why I made contact or what I was expecting to get out of it. As it is she is after a serious relationship. I am glad that I’ve been getting to know her, though she is more serious about it than I am right now.
She’s making arrangements to come and visit and I can’t say I’m not looking forward to meeting her. I am pleased she is. Yet I don’t know what I can do for her. I don’t have the heart for where I live; I don’t know where I am supposed to be or belong.
How can I show some one around place that I don’t have the heart for? One thing I do not want to do is hurt her, she doesn’t deserve that. I probably care more than I realise. It is not helping that I’ve not told anyone about her, like the fool that I am.
Father God, HELP! I’ve screwed up again and have. Please give me the wisdom and strength to do what is right. Not my will but yours. Please, also, would you give me some confirmation of what I’m supposed to do and the eyes to see it and the heart to act on it. Thank you.
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